Firsts, Beginnings, Only's and Last

The last six days have had some firsts and beginnings in our family.

It was Mari's first day of Kindergarten.

Aiden's first day of sixth grade.

Dad's begun his School administration internship or practicing to be a principal (sorry no picture).
Mom home without any kids for the 6.5 hours-but that's only on day's she's not substitute teaching.

It's also some only's and lasts.

It's the only time the kids will go to school together.

It's Clint's last year of teaching at Mount Rainier High (because he will find an administrative job next year).

It's possibly the only year Mari will be disappointed that Saturday and Sunday are NOT school days and will be ready and eager to go to school 2 hours early.

Wandering Boy

Yesterday while visiting my in-laws we headed out to birch bay for the afternoon. Aiden was super excited to go because his grandparents had just bought two single kayaks.  Prior to this he and his cousin had to go out in one of two two man kayaks that was quite heavy and required them to paddle together.   Once he was on the water he was ready to go impatiently waiting for me to head out on one of the bigger kayaks as the adult supervision on the water.  Once we got out there he "wandered" as far as he could in his single kayak to explore what was around him.  And it made me smile for this is a trait.

Aiden likes to explore and is pretty independent on looking for things on his own.  And a bit oblivious to where he is going because he's intent on his exploration.  I watched Aiden cruse off ahead of me and away from me as we were out on the water and found myself doing what we do anywhere we go-call him back closer and remind him to come or go a certain direction.  Once he got back to the beach he wandered off oblivious to how far to check out some tides and needed to gently be called back a bit closer.

I love my wandering boy and his intense curiosity for the world around him.  I've watched as his inquiries into the things around him have drawn him more confidently away from me was we head to the zoo, the park, the beach-out into the world-away from my side.  But then he still returns and holds my hand to chat away about the jelly fish he found, or to help find the python at the zoo, or to see the bug he found at the park.  As he grows beyond being ten, his explorations will only get further away and more  I hope he continues to go exploring but still seeks out his mom to see what he has found.

Kids update (very delayed)

So the goal I set of keeping an updated blog went out the window.  Hopefully I'll be able to do better.  Here's a brief update on the kids

Aiden-
At ten he's growing both physically (and for lack of a better term) mentally.  The tip of his head is now a hair above my chin.  My prediction from when he was younger that I'd have a ten year old taller than my 5'3" hasn't come true but I sure am not to far off the mark.  Aiden is still my inquisitive kid with 20 questions a day, desiring to learn about anything and everything.  He loves to read and tease his sister.  In general he is a pretty fantastic big brother.  This year he is eagerly awaiting to start 5th grade.  This has two exciting positives for him.  Aiden gets to join band-where he'll be playing the trumpet like his dad-and join robotics club.  I love this sweet boy.

Marianna-
My four year old is quite the force of wills.  Mari is becoming quite assertive in letting the world-and most frequently her brother- what she's thinking.  She adore Littlest Pet Shop toys and could play by the hours with them.  Recently Mari has begun to test the waters quite successfully riding a two wheel bike with training wheels.  She loves to be read too and tease her brother.  She adores her big brother and spending as much time with him as possible.  This next year she will be going to preschool and is very excited.  She's eagerly looking forward to going to school like her big brother (and probably spending less time with mom).  I adore her not so little personality.

Kids update

Aiden:
Fast approaching the end of fourth grade
Inquisitive about what things are, how they work
Some of his favorite shows are Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs
He is extremely helpful
Gets pleasure from teasing his sister
Loves Lego's and toys he can build with
Is teaching himself to draw Dragons by researching not only pictures of Dragons but creatures such as snakes and bats to help get some ideas
Always ready to give a hug and say I love you(which I'm trying to eat up because not sure how long that will last)
Loves to play Halo with Dad
Wants to learn to swim (on the plans for this summer)
Loves the outdoors
Doesn't like to have his sister help him empty the dishwasher even though it makes the job go faster

Marianna
Asking "Who's that" when she means "What's that"
Talks constantly frequently to imaginary people or her toys
She likes her friend Lauren
She loved her first non family Birthday party even though she had to wear purple
Likes to choose her own clothes when shopping
Full of opinions
Makes a mess in her room but doesn't like to clean it up herself
Loves the shows the Wild Kratz and the Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that
Always needs her feet rubbed and a bandaid for every ache and pain
Gets three stories at night from brother, Mom, and then Dad
Likes to "read" books to herself
Is a big girl not little-as a result we have to clarify that brother is older (not bigger because she's big) he gets to do things that she can't because she's younger (not little).
Likes to tell people she's Aiden's big sister
Is playing hide and seek by herself right now

The third parent and the unfortunate side effects.

Marianna has a third parent.  It's not one we've chosen or she's chosen.  He often scolds her for things that she's doing, like helping him empty the dishwasher, not wearing shoes outside when I've said it's ok, eating a cheese stick I've given her, or holding the fridge closed so she can't get the milk-just to name a few.  Usually she has permission for all of those things-she was getting the milk out so I could pour it on her cereal.  He's a bit overzealous in his endeavors to be helpful resulting in two not so great side effects.  First, he often gets asked with rather annoyed parents, "Are you her parent?"  Of course at 10 he answers, "No." Followed by, "Did I ask you to do that?  Is she breaking, hurting or endangering herself or anything else?" Again with the response of, "No."  The conversation usually ends with, "Unless those things are happening and you can come get one of her parents.  The second (which accounts for the annoyed parents) is that Marianna's response to her brothers meddling is a high pitched wail, followed by crying.  This is also becoming a prevalent response to anything she doesn't like.

So while we love our "third parent" and often find him helpful, we'd rather Aiden stayed as his sisters 10 year old brother and left the parenting to us.

She asked the QUESTION

Last Friday Mari asked the question as I was loading the car up with my load of groceries from Costco.  The one I dread.  No not the baby one.  I actually don't really dread that one that much.  Nope it was this one.
Mari: "Where's my Grandpa?"
Me: "You mean Papa?  He's at his house." (giving the answer strongly suspecting she doesn't mean Papa since she didn't say Papa.)
Mari (very emphatically): "No, my Grandpa not my Papa!"  
Me:  Your Grandpa's in Heaven with Jesus and Heavenly Father.  He got really sick and couldn't get better so he died.  Sometimes people get sick from things that they can't get better from."
Mari: "He's dead?  Why's he dead?"
Me: "He got sick, not like a cold, but something that made him really sick and he couldn't get better."

The conversation continued for a few minutes as she questioned and I clarified.  But she asked the question I dread.  And it won't be the last time she asks version of "Where's my Grandpa?"  It's a punch in the gut because it brings back the pain.  How do you explain to a small child Terminal illness, death, and absence? It's not easy as my experience with Aiden has shown.  But that experience has also shown me it gets easier.  Because over time the questions stop being about him being gone to who he was, what he was like, and what he meant to me.

All I can hope is that I can, along with the help of family and friends, fill in the gap by answering questions as she wants to, like her brother, know more about the man who was her grandfather.

Shabby Apple Giveaway on the Inquisitive Mom

My sister Mindy is having a Third Time Around giveaway series on her blog, The Inquisitive Mom, to count down to/celebrate the upcoming birth of her third child.  This week she's offering a giveaway  worth $89 for a clothing company called Shabby Apple, http://www.shabbyapple.com/.  The clothing is darling.  If your interested check out her sight, at http://theinquisitivemom.blogspot.com/, for more details on ways you can enter.