Wandering Boy

Yesterday while visiting my in-laws we headed out to birch bay for the afternoon. Aiden was super excited to go because his grandparents had just bought two single kayaks.  Prior to this he and his cousin had to go out in one of two two man kayaks that was quite heavy and required them to paddle together.   Once he was on the water he was ready to go impatiently waiting for me to head out on one of the bigger kayaks as the adult supervision on the water.  Once we got out there he "wandered" as far as he could in his single kayak to explore what was around him.  And it made me smile for this is a trait.

Aiden likes to explore and is pretty independent on looking for things on his own.  And a bit oblivious to where he is going because he's intent on his exploration.  I watched Aiden cruse off ahead of me and away from me as we were out on the water and found myself doing what we do anywhere we go-call him back closer and remind him to come or go a certain direction.  Once he got back to the beach he wandered off oblivious to how far to check out some tides and needed to gently be called back a bit closer.

I love my wandering boy and his intense curiosity for the world around him.  I've watched as his inquiries into the things around him have drawn him more confidently away from me was we head to the zoo, the park, the beach-out into the world-away from my side.  But then he still returns and holds my hand to chat away about the jelly fish he found, or to help find the python at the zoo, or to see the bug he found at the park.  As he grows beyond being ten, his explorations will only get further away and more  I hope he continues to go exploring but still seeks out his mom to see what he has found.

Kids update (very delayed)

So the goal I set of keeping an updated blog went out the window.  Hopefully I'll be able to do better.  Here's a brief update on the kids

Aiden-
At ten he's growing both physically (and for lack of a better term) mentally.  The tip of his head is now a hair above my chin.  My prediction from when he was younger that I'd have a ten year old taller than my 5'3" hasn't come true but I sure am not to far off the mark.  Aiden is still my inquisitive kid with 20 questions a day, desiring to learn about anything and everything.  He loves to read and tease his sister.  In general he is a pretty fantastic big brother.  This year he is eagerly awaiting to start 5th grade.  This has two exciting positives for him.  Aiden gets to join band-where he'll be playing the trumpet like his dad-and join robotics club.  I love this sweet boy.

Marianna-
My four year old is quite the force of wills.  Mari is becoming quite assertive in letting the world-and most frequently her brother- what she's thinking.  She adore Littlest Pet Shop toys and could play by the hours with them.  Recently Mari has begun to test the waters quite successfully riding a two wheel bike with training wheels.  She loves to be read too and tease her brother.  She adores her big brother and spending as much time with him as possible.  This next year she will be going to preschool and is very excited.  She's eagerly looking forward to going to school like her big brother (and probably spending less time with mom).  I adore her not so little personality.

Kids update

Aiden:
Fast approaching the end of fourth grade
Inquisitive about what things are, how they work
Some of his favorite shows are Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs
He is extremely helpful
Gets pleasure from teasing his sister
Loves Lego's and toys he can build with
Is teaching himself to draw Dragons by researching not only pictures of Dragons but creatures such as snakes and bats to help get some ideas
Always ready to give a hug and say I love you(which I'm trying to eat up because not sure how long that will last)
Loves to play Halo with Dad
Wants to learn to swim (on the plans for this summer)
Loves the outdoors
Doesn't like to have his sister help him empty the dishwasher even though it makes the job go faster

Marianna
Asking "Who's that" when she means "What's that"
Talks constantly frequently to imaginary people or her toys
She likes her friend Lauren
She loved her first non family Birthday party even though she had to wear purple
Likes to choose her own clothes when shopping
Full of opinions
Makes a mess in her room but doesn't like to clean it up herself
Loves the shows the Wild Kratz and the Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that
Always needs her feet rubbed and a bandaid for every ache and pain
Gets three stories at night from brother, Mom, and then Dad
Likes to "read" books to herself
Is a big girl not little-as a result we have to clarify that brother is older (not bigger because she's big) he gets to do things that she can't because she's younger (not little).
Likes to tell people she's Aiden's big sister
Is playing hide and seek by herself right now

The third parent and the unfortunate side effects.

Marianna has a third parent.  It's not one we've chosen or she's chosen.  He often scolds her for things that she's doing, like helping him empty the dishwasher, not wearing shoes outside when I've said it's ok, eating a cheese stick I've given her, or holding the fridge closed so she can't get the milk-just to name a few.  Usually she has permission for all of those things-she was getting the milk out so I could pour it on her cereal.  He's a bit overzealous in his endeavors to be helpful resulting in two not so great side effects.  First, he often gets asked with rather annoyed parents, "Are you her parent?"  Of course at 10 he answers, "No." Followed by, "Did I ask you to do that?  Is she breaking, hurting or endangering herself or anything else?" Again with the response of, "No."  The conversation usually ends with, "Unless those things are happening and you can come get one of her parents.  The second (which accounts for the annoyed parents) is that Marianna's response to her brothers meddling is a high pitched wail, followed by crying.  This is also becoming a prevalent response to anything she doesn't like.

So while we love our "third parent" and often find him helpful, we'd rather Aiden stayed as his sisters 10 year old brother and left the parenting to us.

She asked the QUESTION

Last Friday Mari asked the question as I was loading the car up with my load of groceries from Costco.  The one I dread.  No not the baby one.  I actually don't really dread that one that much.  Nope it was this one.
Mari: "Where's my Grandpa?"
Me: "You mean Papa?  He's at his house." (giving the answer strongly suspecting she doesn't mean Papa since she didn't say Papa.)
Mari (very emphatically): "No, my Grandpa not my Papa!"  
Me:  Your Grandpa's in Heaven with Jesus and Heavenly Father.  He got really sick and couldn't get better so he died.  Sometimes people get sick from things that they can't get better from."
Mari: "He's dead?  Why's he dead?"
Me: "He got sick, not like a cold, but something that made him really sick and he couldn't get better."

The conversation continued for a few minutes as she questioned and I clarified.  But she asked the question I dread.  And it won't be the last time she asks version of "Where's my Grandpa?"  It's a punch in the gut because it brings back the pain.  How do you explain to a small child Terminal illness, death, and absence? It's not easy as my experience with Aiden has shown.  But that experience has also shown me it gets easier.  Because over time the questions stop being about him being gone to who he was, what he was like, and what he meant to me.

All I can hope is that I can, along with the help of family and friends, fill in the gap by answering questions as she wants to, like her brother, know more about the man who was her grandfather.

Shabby Apple Giveaway on the Inquisitive Mom

My sister Mindy is having a Third Time Around giveaway series on her blog, The Inquisitive Mom, to count down to/celebrate the upcoming birth of her third child.  This week she's offering a giveaway  worth $89 for a clothing company called Shabby Apple, http://www.shabbyapple.com/.  The clothing is darling.  If your interested check out her sight, at http://theinquisitivemom.blogspot.com/, for more details on ways you can enter.

He'll be 10!

 We're shortly approaching Aiden's 10th Birthday.  Here are some pictures for memory lane.

Turning My Brain Off

I had one of those nights last night.  I should have crashed easily-I'd been on the go since 7:00 that morning.  The kids and I headed out to run some errands and then headed into the zoo with some of my in-laws.  But once I went to bed my brain jumped around to all the stuff we'd been up too lately, plans for the future, making sure this spring went smoothly with all our craziness, etc.  It took a lot of reading to distract the brain.  I would have been fine for the rest of the night except my sweet girl woke up and got scared at about 2:30.  She needed a late night cuddle.  Unfortunately for me my brain woke up and wouldn't turn off.  I hate it when my thoughts run wild in the wee hours of the morning.  I think my sleep deprived brain while busy is still sleep deprived and not functioning.  As a result my thoughts focus on my own insecurities, panics, fears, and off the wall thoughts.  Those things that don't make sense, aren't really helpful, etc.  But they keep you awake even more than anything else.  You sit there and just wish your brain would just turn off.
PS as a result of sleep deprivation this post will probably have even more errors than normal (as a few of my readers like to point out).  Please remember in this case I'm very, very tired.

Marianna's Favorite Song/Dancing Clan

Much to my dismay a few months ago my husband bought this "lovely gem" (heavy sarcasm) of a song.  My daughter loves it.  When I have music on she'll head to the computer and search it out to play it if I don't hide the mouse from her.  Here she is dancing away (joined by later by her brother) to the Gummy bear song.

It should come with a parental warning label saying:
WARNING:  Be prepared for extreme annoyance.

Funny Faces

Marianna being entertained by Photo Booth so she'd leave her brother alone.  He unfortunetly got a little distracted himself.

Doctors Visit and the Change in Perspective

Marianna adores her doctor and the office in general.  This has been a happy occurrence since our first visit last year.  Dr. E is friendly, patient, and makes really cool bird noises.  Following each appointment with the doctor's office each bump, cough or ache Mari receives should result in a visit to the doctor-at least according to her.

Mari's four year check up with the doctors was a much anticipated event.  She'd get to step on the scale, sit on the table with the hand/foot print paper, and play with the blocks.  She'd also be getting shots and this was part of the excitement.  Anticipation for shots might seem a bit strange in a four year old.  This lack of normal trepidation is easily explained stemming from two things.  First, Marianna had not received any shots since her two year old check up because none were necessary last year.  As a result she had no immediate memories to draw on regarding how painful shots can be.  Second, after watching the PBS kids "Sid the Science Kid" episode about the flu vaccine.  While I appreciate the shows writers attempt to lesson the fear around shots, it doesn't show how painful they can be.  As a result I had a little girl that I knew was going to be sorely (quite literally) disappointed.  In a futile attempt to prepare her I was gently reminding her that the shots can hurt.

The day of appointment arrived and Marianna followed her normal routine once we arrived at the office- she headed directly to the huge fish tank to watch the fish.  When her turn arrived to head back to the exam room Mari chatted animatedly as the nurse weighed her, took her height, and checked her eyes.  She also talked excitedly about the fact she was getting shots.  Then it was our turn to wait to see the fantastic Dr. E.  When he arrived she told him she was getting bigger, showed him the "Ponyella" book she'd brought, and cooperated with his requests as he checked her development.  And listened for the birds as he checked her ears.  She had a great time like she always did.

Finally the nurse arrived with her three shots and my little girl got a painful shot.  She sat cooperatively as the nurse cleaned her legs, examined the really neat Littlest Pet shop stickers to cover her little owies she'd get, and then laid down while I "hugged" her to keep her in place.  I could tell when the first shot was injected- the tears came, the expression of "owy," and her body bucked.  This day was a double edge sword.  My poor little girl not only received painful shots, but was disappointed.

Now when I ask her if she wants to go to the doctors she says no she doesn't want shots.  I find myself assuring her that we don't get shots every time we go to the doctor.  Only sometimes.  It saddens me that this change has occurred.  I remember Aiden at the same age getting excited about doctors visits.  And then that event when they associate each visit with a dreaded shot.  The question of wether or not they'll get one.  Rather than being a place to go and feel comfortable and happy, the doctors office is that place to possibly go and get hurt.

Quiet time, Birds, and a Great Story

Marianna has quiet time every day.  You know the time where she is supposed to play quietly in her room and but I hope she'll take a nap.  More often than note she dashes my hopes and play's quietly.  Usually after and hour or so quiet time is over and she's able to "get up."

Since she's gotten her big girl bed I frequently find her standing on it staring out the window.  Friday was one of those days that the window held more attraction than the toys.  She kept calling me in to her room to look at the birds outside.  After few times of jumping up to go see the birds I eventually told her to quiet down.  When it was time to get up she very excitedly came out of her room.  With arms flapping, her face animated she proceeded to tell me that she'd seen the "bee" birds with the really fast wings and long beaks (using her hand from her nose out to indicate long beak).  I quickly figured our she meant hummingbird.

Aiden came home just after finishing her story and she proceeded to tell him she'd seen a mamma, daddy and baby hummingbird outside her window.  Aiden asked her what color they were and she proceeded to explain that they were black with green and had orange beaks.  She then indicated again by flapping her arms that their wings go really fast.

Aiden later asked me if she really saw hummingbirds and I told him I didn't know, but, it might have been possible.  I thought that people started putting out nectar feeders in February.  If not his sister had a great story to tell.

Marianna's Birthday Part 1

Here's some photo's from Saturday's celebration and opening presents on her actual birthday.  I thought I had had a video but it turns out I bumped the button and didn't record like I thought.  Enjoy!

Big Girl Bed

Marianna woke up the other morning and came out and joined me for a snuggle on the couch.  After saying good morning, she told me, "Mamma, my bed is not comfortable."  I of course asked her why it was uncomfortable.  She quickly informed me it was too small.

Fortunately for her we've been planning on getting transferring her to my old day bed.  This weekend it finally made it's way down to our house from my in-laws and we were able to pick up a mattress.  Below is a video of her first sighting of her bed.

Update:  Here's some updated photo's from today of some of her birthday presents for her new bed.

Discovering and Rediscovering

Our TV watching choices are pretty limited at our house-basic, basic cable, Netflix, and video's from the library.  When Mari and Aiden watch TV they watch PBS Kids.  A few months ago PBS kids started advertising for a new show for their afternoon line-up -"Wild Kratts."  This of course caught Aiden's attention.  

Much to our delight we discovered that this new show was from the Kratt brothers who are behind one of Aiden's favorite shows of all time-Zaboomafoo.  The Kratt Brothers with their friend the Lemur Zaboo tapped into his love of animals, sparked his curiosity, and tapped his funny bone.  We were very saddened when the show was cancelled.  So, a new show by the Kratt Brothers sparked our interest and hope.  On the day the show premiered Aiden dashed home from school and over his sisters objections, flipped to Wild Kratts.  Once it started both kids were delighted with the the combination of animal science, adventure and just plain fun.  And my objecting little girl was just as delighted as her brother.  They even like to play "Wild Kratts" together-which can be up to 20 minutes of getting along.

This week while at the library while selecting DVD's  Aiden came across a Zaboomafoo video.  Aiden was thrilled at having found a favorite TV show eagerly showing it to his sister.  Mari  was focused on the routine of looking for the Wiggles, Dora, Diego, etc. she didn't really pay attention.  Later that day when Aiden got to choose which video to watch he excitedly put in Zaboo.  This was again given over his sister objections and she again, after watching, was thrilled with this show.  

It was delightful to watch my son rediscover something he enjoyed and share in his sister's delighted discovery of the same show.

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Watching Her Grow

March 1, 2007

She’ll be four soon.  To be more precise Marianna’s birthday is only six day away.  I recently looked through some pictures from the last four years and pondered how much she has not only changed physically but personality wise and emotionally. 

Mari’s always had her big eyes that show every expression.  As a baby they quickly darkened to brown and by one they were the same deep shade as her dad’s.  She says a lot with those eye as she raises her eyebrows in happiness or excitement or lowers her (enviably) long lashes when she’s hedging the truth.  

First Birthday

She’s always adored her brother.  If Aiden’s doing it you could guarantee that even as a small thing Marianna would want to do it too.  The times that he is willing to play with her is about 50/50.  They pretend to be “Wild Krats” together, play board games, or chase each other around the house.  But my dear little angel has also learned how to torment her brother.  Frequently our of frustration or even board-um she’ll do the exact thing she shouldn’t like climb on him when he’s doing something or deliberately break something he’s built with his lego’s.

Second Birthday

Marianna also has the system figured out.  My little girl loves stories and at bed time she figured out how to get one additional story.  Since she could ask Marianna has gotten a story read from Mommy and Daddy each night before bed.  About six months ago it dawned on her that her brother could read too.  So after some very “insistent” request at bed time she now gets a story from Mommy, Daddy, and big brother.  

Third Birthday

My favorite developmental change that I see how much more complex Marianna’s imaginative play has become.  A couple of years ago I chuckled when I noticed her hands stared “talking” to each other as if they were people.  Mari now has “friends” like her cousin Ella (who lives in Illinois) or favorite characters from TV shows.  I frequently hear conversations between her Ponies, Little’s pet shops, or babies when she plays.  

My "big" girl

I can’t wait to see what comes in this next year as she continues to grow.  Marianna has been ready to be “bigger” for a long time.  My girl is so ready to catch up and do what her brother can.  We now have to rephrase things and say that she needs to be older to do things.