Kids update

Aiden:
Fast approaching the end of fourth grade
Inquisitive about what things are, how they work
Some of his favorite shows are Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs
He is extremely helpful
Gets pleasure from teasing his sister
Loves Lego's and toys he can build with
Is teaching himself to draw Dragons by researching not only pictures of Dragons but creatures such as snakes and bats to help get some ideas
Always ready to give a hug and say I love you(which I'm trying to eat up because not sure how long that will last)
Loves to play Halo with Dad
Wants to learn to swim (on the plans for this summer)
Loves the outdoors
Doesn't like to have his sister help him empty the dishwasher even though it makes the job go faster

Marianna
Asking "Who's that" when she means "What's that"
Talks constantly frequently to imaginary people or her toys
She likes her friend Lauren
She loved her first non family Birthday party even though she had to wear purple
Likes to choose her own clothes when shopping
Full of opinions
Makes a mess in her room but doesn't like to clean it up herself
Loves the shows the Wild Kratz and the Cat in the Hat knows a lot about that
Always needs her feet rubbed and a bandaid for every ache and pain
Gets three stories at night from brother, Mom, and then Dad
Likes to "read" books to herself
Is a big girl not little-as a result we have to clarify that brother is older (not bigger because she's big) he gets to do things that she can't because she's younger (not little).
Likes to tell people she's Aiden's big sister
Is playing hide and seek by herself right now

The third parent and the unfortunate side effects.

Marianna has a third parent.  It's not one we've chosen or she's chosen.  He often scolds her for things that she's doing, like helping him empty the dishwasher, not wearing shoes outside when I've said it's ok, eating a cheese stick I've given her, or holding the fridge closed so she can't get the milk-just to name a few.  Usually she has permission for all of those things-she was getting the milk out so I could pour it on her cereal.  He's a bit overzealous in his endeavors to be helpful resulting in two not so great side effects.  First, he often gets asked with rather annoyed parents, "Are you her parent?"  Of course at 10 he answers, "No." Followed by, "Did I ask you to do that?  Is she breaking, hurting or endangering herself or anything else?" Again with the response of, "No."  The conversation usually ends with, "Unless those things are happening and you can come get one of her parents.  The second (which accounts for the annoyed parents) is that Marianna's response to her brothers meddling is a high pitched wail, followed by crying.  This is also becoming a prevalent response to anything she doesn't like.

So while we love our "third parent" and often find him helpful, we'd rather Aiden stayed as his sisters 10 year old brother and left the parenting to us.

She asked the QUESTION

Last Friday Mari asked the question as I was loading the car up with my load of groceries from Costco.  The one I dread.  No not the baby one.  I actually don't really dread that one that much.  Nope it was this one.
Mari: "Where's my Grandpa?"
Me: "You mean Papa?  He's at his house." (giving the answer strongly suspecting she doesn't mean Papa since she didn't say Papa.)
Mari (very emphatically): "No, my Grandpa not my Papa!"  
Me:  Your Grandpa's in Heaven with Jesus and Heavenly Father.  He got really sick and couldn't get better so he died.  Sometimes people get sick from things that they can't get better from."
Mari: "He's dead?  Why's he dead?"
Me: "He got sick, not like a cold, but something that made him really sick and he couldn't get better."

The conversation continued for a few minutes as she questioned and I clarified.  But she asked the question I dread.  And it won't be the last time she asks version of "Where's my Grandpa?"  It's a punch in the gut because it brings back the pain.  How do you explain to a small child Terminal illness, death, and absence? It's not easy as my experience with Aiden has shown.  But that experience has also shown me it gets easier.  Because over time the questions stop being about him being gone to who he was, what he was like, and what he meant to me.

All I can hope is that I can, along with the help of family and friends, fill in the gap by answering questions as she wants to, like her brother, know more about the man who was her grandfather.